The Space Between Us Read online

  “Is that so? What did this boy say to you?”

  I rolled my eyes while poking the food on my plate, supremely uncomfortable with the direction of this conversation. “You don't want to know, Dad.”

  “Yes, I do. Answer the question.”

  I let out an exasperated sigh, still not brave enough to look him in the eye.

  “He might have mentioned how I filled out over the summer and then added something about the back seat of his car,” I mumbled as quickly as I could. I peeked my eyes up at him only to see the red flush spread from his neck all the way up to his hairline. His hands gripped in solid white fists on the table and I could hear loud breaths whistling through his nose. “Dad, it's not a big deal. Like I said, Asher made it known that it was not ok.” It took a little while but my dad finally calmed down a little and managed a drink of his water. It looked like he was trying to formulate his next statement. I felt it was going to be important.

  “Charlie, what would you have done if Asher hadn't been there?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Exactly what I asked you. That boy says something profoundly inappropriate and uncalled for to you in the hallway and Asher is nowhere to be found to defend your honor. What would you do?”

  “Uh, ignore him and keep walking?” That's probably what I would do, but I wasn't really going for honesty. I was just trying to give my dad the answer he was looking for so that we could move past this horrid discussion.

  “Any boy who disrespects you in public will only do worse in private. At this age, Charlie Bear, boys are too focused on the, uh, physical aspects of a relationship with a girl. It's important that you realize that just because a boy says things to you that you might find, uh, flattering, you need to have respect for yourself and your body. Any boy who says things like that to you isn't worthy of your time or attention.”

  “Dad, please, let's not do this,” I said as I started to stand up to take my plate into the kitchen.

  “Charlie, sit.” I instinctually sat back down quickly. Dad used his 'I mean business' voice, which he only reserved for times when I knew it was best to obey him. “You're in high school now and it's important that you understand how the male mind works at this age. Now,” he paused, again trying to put something together in his mind. “When boys your age are interested in girls, there is a chance that they are thinking about a physical relationship with her more than she might be. Boys are more curious, more driven by hormones, and sometimes more, well, uninhibited in a sexual nature.”

  “Have you met Reeve?” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. My dad's eyes grew wide and I immediately regretted my joke. “I'm kidding! Jeez, Dad. Reeve isn't like that. I mean, she's flirty and boy crazy, but she's not – you know,” I tried to insinuate what I meant because, Lord knows, I didn't want to say it. He let out a loud breath.

  “Ok, good. Don't scare me like that.” He reached up to try and loosen the neck of his shirt. He looked a little warm. “All I am trying to say is that even though I am glad that Asher was there and did the right thing, he won't always be. Boys are going to try to date you, Charlie Bear. They're going to ask you out, and they're going to want to kiss you and possibly more.” He wiped the palm of his hand over his forehead which was now beaded with sweat.

  “Dad,” I said softly. “I am not ready to date boys. I'm not even really interested in being someone's girlfriend. The boys at my school are pretty immature and dumb. You've got nothing to worry about. Plus, Asher seems to do a good job of keeping them away anyhow.”

  “So long as we're on the same page that you're not allowed to have a boyfriend until you're sixteen and you understand what I'm saying about boys, I think we can end this conversation.”

  “Oh, thank God,” I said quickly and jumped up from the table. After putting my dishes in the sink, I headed towards my bedroom but was stopped by the sound of the phone ringing.

  “Hello?” I said as I answered.

  “Hey, Bit. What are you doing?”

  “Just finished dinner.”

  “Wanna go shoot some hoops with me?”

  “You mean watch you shoot hoops while I try to throw a round thing into an impossibly small hole?” I had never been very athletic, so playing a sport with Asher was usually pretty pointless.

  He laughed. “Yeah, that.”

  “Let me ask my dad.” I held my hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and yelled through the house. “DAD! Is it ok if I go to the elementary school and play basketball with Asher?” My dad came around the corner and I smiled at him sheepishly.

  “You've got school tomorrow, so be home by nine. And tell Asher I want to talk to him before you leave.” I felt my eyes darting all around the room, trying to figure out what my dad wanted to say to Asher. My dad turned and walked away, leaving me nervous.

  “Uh, yeah, I can go but my dad wants to talk to you before we leave.”

  “That's cryptic.”

  “Just get over here.” I heard the line go dead and knew he'd knock on the door soon so I went and changed into some hoop-shooting clothes. When the damn doorbell rang, and rang, and rang, I headed downstairs to find Asher already inside and my dad closing the door behind him.

  “You ring that doorbell every time only because you know how much I hate it.”

  He smiled a big toothy grin. “Not gonna lie, Bit. It's the highlight of my day.”

  “Asher, come with me into my study,” my dad said.

  “Ok,” he replied and started to follow my father. I started following too, but made it only a few steps before my dad stopped me without even looking back.

  “Charlie, wait in the living room.” I stopped in my tracks and watched Asher disappear into the study with my father. I had no idea what he was going to say to him, but I knew it made me nervous. I wandered into the living room and sat on the couch bouncing my knee up and down, trying to distract myself. Ten minutes later I heard the door open and walked towards it. I saw Asher come out first and my dad's hand was on his shoulder. They were both smiling, although Asher's smile looked a little forced.

  “Can we go?” I asked, desperately.

  “Yup. Nine o'clock, Charlie,” my dad said as he raised one eyebrow at me.

  “Got it.” Asher and I walked out of the house and started the mindless walk to our elementary school. A walk I could take blindfolded I'd done it so many times. We were silent for half the walk and finally I couldn't take it anymore.

  “What did my dad say to you?”

  “Not much.”

  “Asher Carmichael, don't you lie to me.”

  He laughed at me. “You sound like my mom,” he said through his laughter.

  “Asher, tell me right now what he said to you!”

  “Ok, jeez, Bit. Take it down a notch.” He took a breath in and let it out loudly. “First he asked me what happened on the first day of school and made me tell him exactly what that guy in the hallway had said to you.”

  “Oh my gosh. How embarrassing.” I dropped my head into my hands.

  “Then he thanked me for sticking up for you and defending you. He followed that up with an anti-violence campaign,” Asher said, laughing again.

  “Then what?”

  “That was it.”

  “No. You were in there with him for ten minutes. What else did you talk about?”

  “Just drop it, Bit.”

  “No! Tell me,” I begged.

  “He just wanted to make sure I knew that you couldn't date until you were sixteen,” he said quickly. My eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

  “Why would he tell you that?” He didn't answer me. “Asher? Why did he say that to you?”

  “I don't know, Charlie.” He sounded a little angry. “I think he just wants me to remember that you aren't allowed to date anyone.” I shook my head, still not really grasping what was going on.

  “Wait, does my dad think that you want to date me?”

  “I'm not sure,” he said as he bounced his basketball on the p
avement as we made our way to the hoops hanging under a large covered area. “It's not a big deal. Let's drop it.”

  “Ok,” I said quietly. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset.” He stopped bouncing the ball and looked over at me.

  “I'm not upset, promise. Now, let's play Horse.”

  “Ok,” I tried to smile, but still felt the tension coming off of him. It wasn't until I had lost the first game that I felt like we'd moved passed the awkward moment of the evening. I watched him dribble down the court and then execute a perfect lay-up. He was gifted when it came to sports. I was cursed. But I enjoyed trying to keep up with him, sometimes. I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't want there to be weirdness between us. Something told me, however, that the weirdness was something I was going to have to get used to. Things were slowly changing between us. I could feel it. And I knew he felt it too. I just didn't know what we were going to do about it.

  Freshman year continued without much incident. Asher and I still walked to and from school together, until basketball season when Asher made it on the Varsity team. It was quite a big deal to be put on the varsity team as a freshman and he was doing amazingly well. He didn't always get to start, but he always played, and I was so proud of him. Reeve and I went to most of his games and cheered him on. I even had my dad help me make a special jersey that had seventeen on it, his lucky number.

  At one of his games, a girl who looked like she could have been a junior or senior sat next to Reeve and me. She saw me cheering Asher on and kept sending glances my way. Finally she said something to me half-way through the game.

  “Your boyfriend is really good.” I turned toward her, finally able to look at her without it being weird. She had long blonde hair and it was split in to two braids that hung down past her shoulders. Just as I started to answer her, Asher made a three-point shot and the crowd erupted into intense screaming. After a few seconds the noise died down enough that I was able to answer. I leaned towards her but only turned my head far enough to make sure she heard me, but not far enough to take my eyes off the court. I didn't want to miss anything.

  “He is really good, but he's not my boyfriend.”

  “He's not?” The blatant surprise in her voice had me turning to look at her again. “That's interesting.”

  I did not like the way she said that. It was as if I had just told her that there was one piece of chocolate fudge cake left just for her.

  “I just always see you guys together, and you're always at his games, wearing his jersey.” She said, looking at me with a perfectly pleasant expression on her face that for some reason I wanted to smack off of her.

  “Well,” I said, trying not to sound too irritated by her, “Asher is my best friend and I am just supporting him.”

  “So, he's single?” Single? He wasn't dating. You couldn't be “single” unless you were on the market, right? Asher wasn't on the market, was he? I tried to keep the panic from my eyes.

  “He's not dating anyone, no.” I murmured.

  “Interesting.” There was that damn word again. I exhaled loudly. Reeve, sitting next to me, heard everything. She leaned over to me.

  “Just tell her he's taken,” she whispered. My head snapped back to look at her.

  “But he's not,” I whispered back. She rolled her eyes at me.

  “Yes, he is. You guys just won’t admit it.” I felt the blood rushing to my face. I hated how easily I blushed anymore.

  “We're just friends, Reeve, for like, the thousandth time.” I said with exasperation. Reeve winked at me, and then leaned forward and half-shouted to Pippi Longstocking next to me.

  “Hi, I'm Reeve, Asher's friend. You know, number seventeen? Anyway, I heard you asking about his status and he is definitely single. And he loves blondes. You should ask him out.” I was sure the heat with which my stare pinned Reeve down was going to melt her face right off. Making sure my face was hidden from the blonde beauty I mouthed at Reeve, “What are you doing?!” Reeve shrugged, rolling her eyes, then leaned into me.

  “Maybe you guys just need a push.” She grinned wickedly at me. I scowled back at her.

  “How do you know he likes blondes?” I asked, not sure where the question came from.

  “I don't know if he likes blondes, but I'm betting on brunettes,” Reeve answered with a wink.

  I was thoroughly confused, but too distraught to do anything about it. I knew Asher and I were just friends, but I never considered that he might date someone. And I wasn't prepared to deal with the idea of Asher going out with someone. As much as I liked to spout to people about how we're best friends, I couldn't ignore the fact that I became territorial and jealous thinking about the blonde girl asking him out on a date.

  After the game, Reeve and I waited in the hallway outside of the locker room like we always did. We stayed a ways away because there were always a ton of people milling around and we would just get in the way. Eventually, I saw Asher come out of the locker room. He looked up to find us in our usual spot and my favorite smile graced his face when our eyes locked. I couldn't help but smile back at him. My smile fell from my face when I saw the blonde beauty intercept him as he was halfway to us. She stopped him by placing her hand on his arm. He was caught off guard and looked down at her hand, which she left on his arm for a ridiculous amount of time. When she finally removed her hand, it was only to push back some stray hairs that had come loose from her braids and tuck them behind her ear. I watched as Asher's eyes followed her movements and my stomach turned when I saw a smile cross his face.

  She was obviously doing most of the talking, and he nodded and spoke a few words here and there. At one point I saw him get a little confused, then he looked down at his feet. When his eyes came back up to hers, he said something I couldn't make out. They exchanged a few more words, but then she walked away and he continued towards us.

  “Let's see what Mr. Carmichael has to say about that,” Reeve whispered to me before he made it close enough to us to hear.

  “Hey, Asher. Good game. Who was that you were talking to?” Reeve asked eagerly.

  “Uh, Samantha? I think that's what she said her name was.” He turned to me and smiled. “Hey. Like the game?”

  “Parts,” I said with a shrug. He gave me a questioning look. “Your three-pointers were amazing.”

  “Thanks, Bit,” he said with a dazzling smile.

  “What did Samantha want?” Reeve asked, queen of subtlety.

  “Uh,” he said, suddenly uncomfortable. “She asked me to the Spring Fling.” The Spring Fling was the semi-formal dance that the high school put on for all the students. It was coming up in about a month.

  “No way! She's really pretty. What did you say?” Reeve was being really pushy and it irritated me. Asher shifted uncomfortably and I saw his eyes dart to me before he answered.

  “I said no.”

  “Interesting,” Reeve said. I began to really hate that word. “Why would you say no? She's an upperclassman and really pretty.”

  “Because I don't want to go with her.” He said sharply, shooting hard stares her way. My eyes batted back and forth between them, trying not to get caught in the crossfire.

  “Is there someone else you want to go with?” She asked him.

  “Reeve, drop it,” he said.

  “I just don't understand why you would turn down a perfectly good date. It makes me think there's someone else you'd rather go with.” I saw her eyes turn on me.

  “Reeve, that's enough,” I said quietly. I didn't like the feeling I was getting from their conversation. Part of me wished Asher wanted to go to the dance with me, but more of me wanted everything to remain the same.

  “You guys are hopeless,” she sighed. “Ok, well, my dad is probably waiting to pick me up. I will see you guys tomorrow,” she said, sounding way too cheery. She walked away and left Asher and I staring at each other uncomfortably.

  “Are you ready to go?” Asher asked, breaking the silence.

  “Yeah,” I respo
nded quietly. I turned to walk down the hallway with him. Once we got outside, I felt a little more relaxed. It was dark so I couldn't see Asher all that well and welcomed the idea that he couldn't see my face as clearly anymore either. Reeve stirred up all kinds of thoughts and emotions in me that I didn't know if I was ready to deal with. It was spring and even though it wasn't raining, there was still a chill in the air. I wrapped my arms around my waist.

  “Here,” Asher said as he slipped off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders.

  “Thanks,” I said and offered him a small smile. I pulled it tighter around my body. It was huge on me and could probably wrap around me twice. All the extra fabric caused it to bunch up in front of my jaw and I couldn't help but inhale the scent that permeated from the collar of the coat. It smelled like him. The intoxicating smell of Asher, mixed with the scent of the wet pavement was almost too much for my body to handle. I felt my heartbeat speed up, and I tried to keep the expression on my face even and unaffected.

  “So, about the Spring Fling,” Asher said, breaking the silence of the unusually quiet walk we were sharing.

  “What about it?” I tried so hard to sound normal, but all I could hear was my heartbeat pulsing in my ears.

  “Well, I was thinking, maybe we could all go in a group. I mean, I know your dad won't let you go with a date, but maybe he'd let you go with a big group of people.”

  “I guess there's no harm in asking.”

  “Do you want to go to the dance? You know,” he said quickly, “with a group of people?”

  “Sure,” I said just as quickly.

  “Cool. So, I won't go with anyone in particular, and neither will you. We'll go together, you know, with everyone else. But we'll all be there together, as a group.”

  “That sounds good,” I said, trying not to smile. Even though the conversation was making me nervous, his excited rambling was making me laugh. I couldn't really remember a time when Asher was nervous. Before I could stop to think about the words that came out of my mouth, I asked, “Why didn't you just say you'd go with Samantha?” In the darkness I saw the corners of his mouth creep up into a smile, but his voice came out cool and controlled.