The Presence of Grace (Love and Loss #2) Read online

  The whole package was sexy as hell.

  She didn’t notice us until we were right in front of her. She gave me another smile and then held her phone up. On the screen was a photo of Jax and me smiling at each other, his horse up higher than mine, him looking down at me. We both looked happy. It occurred to me in that moment that since Olivia passed, there hadn’t been many pictures taken of me with my kids. There was no one around to take them.

  “Do you think you could text that to me?” I wanted a copy. I didn’t know what I’d do with it, but I wanted it nevertheless.

  “Um, sure,” she said, seeming nervous for some reason, then turned the phone back around to look at the screen. I watched her thumbs moving quickly, then she handed it to me. “Just put your phone number in there.”

  Ah-ha. I tried not to smile as I punched in my phone number. “There you go.”

  She hit Send and I knew in a few moments I’d feel my phone buzz in my pocket. “Thanks.”

  “Dad, look!” I glanced down at Jaxy, who was pointing further into the park. “Pluto!” Sure enough, Pluto was traipsing through the park, only making it a few feet before stopping to hug children and take pictures with tourists. “Can we go meet him? Please?”

  “Of course.” I laughed. “That’s why we’re here.” He grabbed my hand and practically dragged me through crowds of people until Pluto was standing right in front of us.

  “Pluto!” Jaxy cried as he gave the tall dog one of his running hugs.

  I smiled and then noticed Ruby standing next to me, indecision painted across her face. I gave her a nudge. “Go on.” She looked up at me, rolled her eyes, and then slowly walked to join her brother, pretending to be irritated the whole time. When she approached Pluto he took his time with her, used his giant pronounced snout to sniff her out, pressing his nose into the side of her neck, making her laugh, then he pulled her into a hug. I let out a breath when she eagerly wrapped her arms around him in return.

  “She’s what? Eleven? You’ve got your work cut out for you,” Grace said to me, taking in the scene with Ruby and Pluto.

  “Don’t I know it,” I said with a chuckle. “I think she knows she got the short end of the stick, and she makes sure everyone else knows her life is hard.” I let out a sigh. “I’m hoping it’s a phase. If I’m lucky, by the time she gets to high school she’ll realize that the hardships in life make us stronger, which means we can tackle more, not less.” I looked down at Grace and was struck by her warm eyes. She’d pushed her sunglasses up to rest on top of her head, and her blue eyes were strikingly emotive.

  “That’s a really powerful stance to take. Is it how you really feel?” she asked, as quietly as she could and still be heard in Disney World. Her words were soft and hopeful, as if my answer were important to her.

  “It has to be,” I said, shrugging one shoulder. “After everything we’ve been through, nothing could be that hard again. It should make everything easier, right?” I watched as she considered my words, took them in, pondered them.

  “I hope so,” she said with a faint smile, bringing her sunglasses back down to her eyes.

  It occurred to me as I watched her try to push back whatever was running through her mind, that perhaps I wasn’t the only one who’d lived through something terrible.

  The next few hours were spent following the children through the park. Ruby decided she didn’t hate it there and actually started having a good time. She so rarely let her guard down that it was incredible to watch her laugh and smile unreservedly. My heart lurched at one point when I saw Ruby and Evie holding hands as they walked in front of us. Evelyn had always looked so similar to Olivia, especially from behind. But I was immediately drawn away from the image when Jaxy tugged me toward a food stand.

  “I’m hungry, Daddy.”

  My watch indicated it was well past lunchtime, so I ruffled his hair and agreed it was time to eat. I called out to Ruby, Evie, and Nate, and we decided to find a table and then divide and conquer the food stands.

  Nate offered to hold the table we eventually found and Jax wanted to stay with him. Ruby wanted to go with Evie, so that left Grace and me to bring back lunch for us and Jax.

  “You have to let me buy you lunch. It’s bad enough I made you buy your own ticket when you weren’t even going to ride anything,” I said, looking over at Grace, only to see her smiling.

  “It’s not a big deal. I’m having a good time.”

  “Still…,” I said, unsure of how else to convince her. “Jax wants a hot dog. If you’d like something else, just speak up and we’ll find another place to grab you some lunch.”

  “Hot dogs are great,” she said, still a little too compliant.

  “Are you always this agreeable?”

  She shrugged and then looked down at her feet. When she looked back up at me, her cheeks were pink. “I can be disagreeable.” She flattened her lips, forcing the smile from them. I assumed she was trying to look menacing, but it just didn’t work. Not with the sunlight creating a halo around her dark hair and the blue of her eyes sparkling up at me.

  “Sure. I’ll believe it when I see it.” We both chuckled and then an uncomfortable silence settled between us.

  “So, Evie and Nate seem great. Jax and Ruby really seem to love them. How do you know each other?”

  I should have thought about this question coming up, should have formulated some sort of answer to have ready, since it was sort of an obvious one. But I hadn’t thought that far ahead. And I had no idea what to tell her. A big part of me wanted to tell her everything, but things between us were awkward enough; unloading on her in the middle of Disney World probably wasn’t best. But I wanted to tell her the truth. The need to be transparent with her was overwhelming, and I didn’t want to stop and think about what that meant.

  “Evie was my wife’s best friend.” There. That was the truth. Well, part of it. The easiest part.

  “Oh,” she replied, with obvious surprise. “Oh,” she said again, this time with a somber tone. The line moved forward and so did we.

  “Yeah. She was really close with the kids before we moved here. This is only the second time they’ve seen her since then. She splits her time between LA and Fairbanks, where Nate lives. Well, he splits his time too. Anyway… she wanted to come see the kids.”

  “That’s great that she still gets to see them, and that they still have that part of their mother,” she said softly. For some reason, it baffled me that she’d spoken the words I’d thought almost every time Evelyn had called or Skyped with them. In the long run, the good she did for the kids far outweighed any awkwardness between us. And the awkwardness seemed to have faded and dissipated.

  “I agree. I’m very grateful for Evelyn. She was one of the only reasons we made it through after Olivia passed. She did a lot for us.” I hoped and prayed Grace didn’t have mind reading capabilities, or that my thoughts weren’t written all over my face. A lot of things had happened after my wife died, and I wasn’t proud of all of them, but my past was my past.

  With four hot dogs between the two of us—because I knew Jaxy would want more than one—we made our way back to the table. Evie and Ruby had beaten us back, and Ruby turned to me with a wide smile.

  “Dad,” she said excitedly, “Aunt Evie says she and Uncle Nate will take us over to Space Mountain next. It’s supposed to be the coolest roller coaster ever. It’s all in the dark.”

  I took my spot next to Jaxy, spreading our food out while he bit into his lunch without a second’s hesitation. “Are you guys sure Space Mountain is the best ride to go on right after lunch?”

  “Oh,” Nate said, sucking in a breath so it hissed through his teeth. “He’s got a point, babe. I know you’re used to being around little kids, but I’m a sympathetic barfer and if one goes, I’m definitely going too.”

  “Wow,” Evie said, laughing. “Just when I thought there wasn’t anything else to learn about you.”

  “I promise I won’t throw up,” Jaxy swore, maki
ng everyone laugh. “No, really, last year I went to the spring break carnival with Grandma and Grandpa. I had three slices of pizza, cotton candy, and a milkshake, then went on the Gravitron, like, seven times. Didn’t barf once.”

  “Jax,” I said with a groan, “stop talking about throwing up. We’re all trying to eat.” Jaxy shrugged and then took a giant bite of his hot dog.

  “I’ll brave the roller coaster,” Evie said with a smile. “We’ll just make them sit behind us.”

  Chapter Seven

  Grace

  The last day of school was always a mixed bag of emotions. I was glad school was out, was looking forward to two months of not teaching, but that year in particular I would really miss the kids. This was the first time my life hadn’t severely intruded on my work, so I’d spent one blissfully drama-free year teaching those kids, and something in my brain didn’t want to let them go; didn’t want the first successful year to be over.

  But the summer promised to be good. Promised to be relaxing. Promised to be exactly what I imagined when I moved to Florida.

  I took a job bartending in the evenings on the weekends. I wasn’t looking to participate in the party that seemed to sprout up when the sun went down, but I definitely didn’t have a problem making money serving alcohol to those who did. Two or three nights of tending bar gave me almost what I made in a week teaching, and I needed something to sustain me over the summer. I’d started three weekends ago, in order to be trained before summer officially started, and working both jobs was really taking a toll on me.

  That, coupled with the emotional good-bye to twenty-six second graders, left me mentally and physically exhausted. Luckily, the last day of school fell on a Wednesday, so I had a day to recover before I had to go back to the night job.

  I left the school building, hearing the door close with a familiar thud that felt more final than it ever had before, and the emotions started to come over me. I felt the pinching in my throat and stinging in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry, but the idea of not seeing those tiny faces smiling at me every morning pulled at me. I made it to my car without a tear, but once the car door was shut behind me, one slid down each cheek. I’d wiped them away, still trying not to lose control, when I heard the ping of my phone indicating I had a text.

  **You’re not crying outside of a school, are you?**

  This came from Devon and made me laugh. Since our trip to Disney I’d seen him a few times when he was picking Jax up from TAG, and we’d been texting back and forth sporadically. The texts were friendly and completely appropriate, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t excited to receive them. Something about attention from Devon lit me up inside, made the day-to-day seem more vibrant and exciting. From the little flutters in my stomach to the random smiles whenever he came to mind, everything about him made me happy.

  **Perhaps. I’ve heard it’s cathartic.**

  **Need some cheering up?**

  I stared at his message for a good minute. In all the texts we’d exchanged in the past six weeks, none of them had alluded to spending more time together. I’d thought about him a lot, but more in a lamenting way, wishing things were different. But now things were different, and he was basically asking me to meet up with him. I couldn’t find a way to make my fingers move, or the thoughts to come up with some sort of reply. He must have figured I was having a minor panic attack because he texted me again.

  **Nothing fancy. Just coffee? Between friends.**

  Between friends? Ugh. Either I’d been friend zoned, or he was adding the emphasis to make me more comfortable. I didn’t know which, but I was hoping for the latter.

  **Can I meet you in an hour?**

  The idea of meeting Devon looking like I did was terrifying. I needed to go home, shower, and regroup.

  **Sure. Name the place.**

  I sent him a link to my favorite coffee shop, Silk, and told him I’d be there in an hour.

  When I entered the coffee shop, it was practically empty. I immediately spotted Devon sitting on the two-person couch in the corner. He saw me coming and stood with a smooth smile.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hi,” I replied as I came to a stop in front of him. There were a few seconds of awkwardness, neither one of us sure how to greet the other. Handshakes were too formal, hugs were too personal, but when he leaned down, one hand coming to rest on my elbow while his cheek pressed close to mine, I couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in my stomach come awake in a flurry. A kiss on the cheek from Devon would definitely go a long way to cheer me up.

  He pulled away and I couldn’t help the blush that ran warm across my face.

  “Can I get you something?” he asked, smile still on his face, hand still on my elbow.

  “That’d be great. Vanilla latte, please. Iced.”

  “Got it.” He gave my elbow a gentle squeeze then made his way to the counter. I took a seat on the couch, trying to look as though I was completely at ease, when I totally was not.

  He returned with two cups, handing one to me, then sitting next to me on the couch, angled with one knee up so he was facing me, an arm draped along the back.

  “You don’t look too torn up. There must not have been many tears.” He smiled just before he took a sip of his coffee.

  “Only a few tears were shed. And it was expected. I’m kind of a crier. I know I’ll see most of the kids again, it’s just been an exceptionally great year and I’m sad to see it end.”

  “Look on the bright side: maybe next year’s batch will be even better.” He winked at me and it only made my smile spread wide across my face.

  “I don’t know. This year’s kids were pretty spectacular.”

  “Jaxy is going to miss you. He told me so.” Those words tugged hard on my heartstrings. “But I told him that perhaps he’d get to see you this summer sometime.” Devon let the words hang in the air between us, alluding to more time spent together, and I instantly turned into a shy teenager, looking down at my coffee and smiling even wider.

  Then I took in a deep breath, forced my smile to notch down from blinding to simply radiant, and shrugged one shoulder, looking back to him. “Perhaps.”

  We were flirting. There was no denying it. And while we’d flirted a little at Disney World, this was definitely a new level of flirtation. I wasn’t opposed, and found it came back to me easily. Or perhaps it was just who I was flirting with that made it easy.

  “So, have any exciting plans for the summer?” he asked, genuinely interested.

  “Not really. I’m tending bar part-time on the weekends, and aside from that, I plan on reading and relaxing by the pool at my apartment.”

  “You took on another job?” His face twisted with confusion.

  “When you sign a teaching contract, you can either take your salary split up into twelve months or ten. When I first moved here I took the ten-month deal because it was more per month and being single in Florida isn’t the cheapest. So, I have to take a summer job to bridge the gap.” His expression had moved from happy and flirty to concerned and even a little aggravated. “I make pretty good money bartending.”

  “I bet,” he grumbled, and took another drink from his mug.

  “Do you guys have any good summer plans?” I asked, trying to steer us from the topic that obviously upset him.

  “Kids are spending the days with my mom. She’s been begging to watch them more, and even though I’ve resisted this long, I figure two months of them might hold her over,” he said, finally letting his smile come back.

  “It’s great that your parents are close and you can count on them for help.”

  “Yeah,” he said, obviously thinking about his next words carefully. “Can I take you somewhere?”

  His question caught me off guard. “Uh, sure,” I said hesitantly.

  “I just thought maybe we could go for a walk. Talk a little.”

  “Okay,” I said softly, surprised by the sudden change in plans. He stood and held his hand out to me, helping me up. As we
approached the door he stepped in front of me, pushing the door open, letting me pass by. I felt his hand gently press on the small of my back and something inside me dissolved. It had been so long since someone had taken care of me in any way. The simple act of opening a door for me sent my heart racing and I smiled because it was so Devon.

  He led me to his SUV and again opened the door for me. I watched him walk around the front of the car and slide into the seat next to me.

  “I thought we’d go to this park I take the kids to sometimes. There’s a pond in the middle with a nice path that leads around it.” He looked to me as if he were waiting until I agreed to start the car.

  “Sounds good, although parks usually close at sundown.” I looked out the window to see the sun was waning in the sky, the blue taking on a more orangey-purple hue.

  “I’m willing to live on the wild side for one night if you are,” he said, his smile returning and causing my stomach to flip.

  “Let’s go, then.”

  By the time we made it to the park the sun was even lower in the sky, but looking through the windshield at the sight before me, I couldn’t care less.

  The park was pretty massive, at least compared to what I’d envisioned in my mind. Sure, there was a playground, but there was also a picnic area, six separate basketball courts, and a soccer field. In the middle of it all was a pond with a fountain, spouting water up at least twenty feet. The path around the pond was lit with lights, as was the water shooting up from the fountain.

  “This is beautiful,” I said, still trying to take in all the beauty of the water and blooming flowers around it.