The Presence of Grace (Love and Loss #2) Read online

  I dropped a hand on his shoulder and knelt down in front of him, placing the blanket and books on the floor next to me. “I don’t hold the door open for women because I think they can’t. I hold doors for women because I respect them and they deserve to be treated well, Jax. Miss Richards deserves your respect, son. All women deserve your respect, but especially Miss Richards. So next time, you let her go first. All right?”

  “Okay,” he agreed quietly.

  “Okay.” I let him go with a ruffle of his hair, which made him groan. I picked everything up off the floor and took back up beside Grace. “Sorry about that,” I said.

  “Don’t be,” she said softly. We walked quietly next to each other while Jax ran ahead, leading the way.

  “They go here,” Jax said, pointing to a bookshelf. I held the books out to him one by one and watched as he found their spots, examining each book carefully to determine its place.

  “Okay, kid, lead the way to the classroom.” Jax ran ahead again and I chuckled.

  “Most kids his age would have just put the books anywhere on the shelf. Did you see him organizing the books by author? Alphabetically? It’s not typical of a second grader.”

  “He’s always been really detailed,” I say casually. I hadn’t ever really thought about why Jaxy was the way he was.

  “It’s just another one of those things that makes him special.”

  We walked Grace to her classroom and I watched as she placed the blanket in the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet. “Can we walk you out to your car?” I asked, not feeling comfortable leaving her in an almost abandoned building on a Friday evening. The lights throughout the building had been turned off, with only a few left on for necessity.

  “Oh, that’s not necessary. I have just a few things to finish up before I head home for the weekend. The last thing I want to have to do is come back from spring break with work waiting for me,” she said, laughing lightly.

  “Wanna know what we’re doing this weekend?” Jaxy asked her.

  “What?”

  “We’re going to Disney World!”

  “No, way,” she exclaimed, matching his enthusiasm. “I’ve always wanted to go there.”

  “You haven’t gone? Why not? It’s only, like, an hour from here.”

  She shrugged. “Disney isn’t really a place you go alone. I’ll go someday.”

  “You could come with us! Auntie Evie and Uncle Nate are coming. Daddy too. You wouldn’t be by yourself if you came with us.”

  She laughed. “That’s really sweet, Jax, but you don’t need your teacher coming with you to Disney.”

  “Dad? Can’t she come with us?”

  I shrugged. “Sure.” I smiled at her, knowing I wasn’t making it easy for her to refuse. But the truth was, I didn’t want her to refuse. For a variety of reasons. The idea of spending an entire day with Evie and Nate was a little overwhelming; I wasn’t particularly looking forward to being the third wheel all day. But also, even more so, I wanted to spend time with Grace. More than I’d wanted to spend time with any other woman since Olivia. I wasn’t 100 percent sure of how I felt about Grace, but it wasn’t just friendly and it wasn’t the way I’d felt about his first grade teacher, Mrs. Walden.

  I liked Grace. I liked the way she looked, the way she moved, and I liked the way she smiled at my son under the shade of a tree. She was good. I could feel it.

  “Devon,” she whispered, shooting me an annoyed yet amused look. I shrugged again.

  “Come to Disney with us. It’ll be fun.” She looked completely conflicted, which made me happy. She wanted to come with us, but obviously didn’t think it was appropriate. I selfishly didn’t care whether or not it was appropriate. I just wanted to spend more time with her. “If it makes you feel better, you can drive yourself, pay for your own ticket, and just happen to run into us at the entrance at 9:00 a.m.”

  Her eyes were locked on mine, a smile playing on her lips, and she finally said, “I’ll see you at nine.”

  “Yay! Miss Richards is coming to Disney!”

  We both laughed at his excitement.

  “You’ll be okay here by yourself?” I asked her, catching her gaze again.

  “Yeah,” she answered softly. I wanted to press the issue, but I decided to let it go and trust she’d be all right.

  “Okay. We’ll see you in the morning.”

  “See you then.” She gave a little wave. “See you later, Jax. Thanks for keeping me company today.”

  “It was fun,” he said, then ran out of the room as he waved.

  “Bye,” I said, giving her a nod.

  “Bye,” she said, smiling.

  I turned and walked out of her classroom, thinking how glad I was that bus broke down.

  Chapter Five

  Grace

  I was used to walking through the school building with only the evening lights. I wasn’t always the last person to leave, but I’d spent more late nights at school than I cared to admit. It was easy to get lost in lesson planning and grading when there was nothing to go home to. I wasn’t afraid to walk to my car alone, but I was more than happy to accept the phone call from my best friend just as I left my classroom.

  “Do you know what it reminds me of when you call me just as I’m about to walk through a dark parking lot by myself?” I use as my greeting, knowing Shelby was on the other end of my call. She responds with a laugh. “It reminds me of all the times in college I stupidly walked home from a party by myself and would call you to keep me company.”

  “Right.” Shelby laughed again. “As if being on the phone with someone would stop a murderer from attacking. We were pretty dumb.”

  “Hey, speak for yourself. I made it through college just fine.”

  “Why are you walking through a dark parking lot alone? Late night?”

  “Yeah. This time it wasn’t all my fault though.”

  “Oh, no?”

  “No. A student in my TAG program was stranded here, so I stayed with him until his father came to pick him up.”

  “You have more patience than me. Hanging out with rug rats isn’t my bag.”

  “That’s why your job is so perfect for you. You sit people in chairs and tell them to close their mouths and their eyes while you do their makeup. Then you just get to talk at them while you make them beautiful.”

  She laughed again, just like I knew she would. Shelby had been my best friend since eighth grade. At eighteen we went to different colleges, but we stayed close even with the distance between us. She’d been there for me through everything and I wasn’t sure what I’d ever do without her.

  “So, got any plans for the weekend? Isn’t it spring break for you now?”

  “Yes, spring break officially starts now.”

  “Gonna go take advantage of all those beautiful beaches?”

  “Ugh,” I groaned, pushing the doors to the building open and walking out into the air that had cooled slightly since Devon and Jax left. “Spring break is the worst time to go to the beaches in Florida.” Then it occurred to me where I was headed tomorrow. “Oh, gosh.” I sighed, hitching my purse higher up on my shoulder while still holding the phone to my ear.

  “What?” Shelby asked, concerned.

  “I got invited to go to Disney World tomorrow. If there’s one place worse than the beaches during a school break, it’s Disney.”

  “Who invited you to Disney? That’s kind of a weird place to invite a grown-ass woman.”

  “A man with children.”

  “A man? With children?” Her interest in my spring break activities was suddenly heightened. “Are you going on a date?”

  “No, it’s not a date,” I insisted. “We’re meeting there. I’m buying my own ticket.”

  “I’m confused. You’re going to Disney World with a man and his children, but it’s not a date?”

  “Hold on a sec,” I said in a hushed voice. I was just steps from my car, and even though I was sure there was no one around, I still wanted to be careful.
Opening the door, I gently tossed my purse on the passenger seat and then folded myself in the car. “The student I stayed late with, he invited me to go along with him and his dad and sister.”

  “So?”

  “So? What do you mean ‘so’?”

  “I mean, a student invites you to Disney World and you politely decline. You pacify him by saying something nice like, ‘Oh, maybe next time,’ and then he forgets about it. You don’t agree to go. So, there has to be something else going on here. Is his dad hot?”

  Yes.

  “That’s a ridiculous question,” I said sharply, shoving the key in the ignition and cranking the engine.

  “So, that’s a yes then.” I could hear her smiling.

  “Okay,” I said, pressing the speakerphone button and tossing my phone in the console. “His dad isn’t bad looking. And he’s a nice guy. But it isn’t a date. It’s more of a friend thing. Some of his friends are going and I think he wanted to even the numbers a little.”

  “Another couple? So you’re going on a double date to Disney World with a student’s parent? You’ve officially crossed the line from prudish grade school teacher to sexy schoolmarm.”

  I wanted to explain to Shelby. Wanted to tell her all about how I’d found Devon broken three years ago, how we’d crossed paths in the strangest of coincidences. How, even though I knew he was trying to move on from something completely heartbreaking, there was a not-so-small part of me that felt I could help him through it. It wasn’t necessarily attraction I felt toward him, but it wasn’t just strictly friendly either. He was the only other person in the world I’d encountered who I felt might feel just as lost as I did. There was some strange sense of solidarity there. I’d felt broken for so long, and I’d begun to think I was alone in my state of fracture. So even though I knew he should have been off-limits, that I should cut ties and just do my job, I couldn’t bring myself to snip those tethers I felt holding us together. If nothing else, he could be a friend.

  “There’s nothing sexy about it, Shelby. He’s just a guy with some really great kids and I’m just meeting them at Disney World.”

  “We’ll see,” she sang into the phone.

  The next morning, I stood in the sunshine outside the gates to Disney World. I was nervous. There was no denying it. Spending the day with people I didn’t know very well, if at all, was making me anxious. A little bit of apprehension melted away when I heard Jax’s voice.

  “Miss Richards,” he yelled as he ran toward me and threw his arms around my waist. “You came,” he said, looking up at me with his eyes so blue and lashes any grown woman would maim for.

  “I’m here. Couldn’t resist a day at Disney.”

  “Glad you could make it,” came Devon’s voice, just as deep as it’d been the day before. “Ruby,” he said, turning to his daughter, standing just behind him. “You know Miss Richards.”

  “Hey,” Ruby mumbled, obviously not too excited to see me.

  “Hey, Ruby, it’s nice to see you.”

  She didn’t respond, just turned back to her father. “When is Aunt Evie supposed to be here?”

  “Any minute,” Devon responded. He then mouthed “Sorry,” and shrugged. All I could do was smile in return.

  “Aunt Evie,” Jax yelled with the same enthusiasm he’d used to greet me. The same hug, in fact, as he ran to a blonde woman walking toward us.

  “Jaxy,” she said as she dropped to her knees to hug him back. I watched as her eyes closed and arms wound around him. She hugged him for a long time, saying things into his ear that I couldn’t hear, but could see were said with love and affection. When he finally pulled away she rose, but only to wrap Ruby in a similar embrace. There was no denying that those kids loved her and she loved them right back.

  “Nate,” Jax said as the dark-haired man next to Evie picked him up and gave him a much rougher, more masculine hug.

  “How’s it going, kid? I’ve practiced my Minecraft skills since last time and I’m ready to kick your butt.”

  “Never,” Jax replied with a smile.

  I watched as Evie approached Devon with a shy smile and gave him a much shorter embrace, Nate shaking his hand, smiling broadly. I also noticed how Ruby seemed glued to Evie’s side.

  “Evie, Nate, this is Grace,” Devon said, motioning toward me. He smiled, a brilliant smile that almost made me stumble, then pressed his hand lightly at the small of my back. It was the gentlest of touches, but the heat from his hand radiated throughout me. “I invited her to come along.”

  “Nice to meet you both.” I reached out for Evie’s hand first, noticing the friendly smile she gave me, which matched Nate’s as he shook my hand as well.

  “She’s my teacher,” Jax offered.

  “Any friend of Devon’s is a friend of ours,” Evie said.

  “Good to meet you,” Nate said. His handshake was friendly and short, accompanied by a smile. He dropped his hand from mine and I watched as he wrapped it around Evie’s waist, the move natural and smooth. I noticed she leaned into him without even thinking about it, her body molding to his without a second thought.

  “Come on,” Jax said excitedly. “I want to ride the merry-go-round first. Then the roller coaster around the mountain. Then Dumbo.”

  “Woah, buddy,” Devon said, laughing. “We’ll start at the beginning and work our way around, all right?”

  I walked along with the group, trying hard not to feel out of place. It was strange being in such a public and busy place with a group of people I really didn’t know. Well, besides Jax. I was right, however, about it being crowded. There were people everywhere and a group of six was hard to keep together. When a cluster of teenagers pushed through our little huddle, separating me from the rest, I immediately began to regret my decision to go. It must have been a group from a school because the cluster of students soon turned into a crowd. I tried to make my way through them, but I’d lost track of Devon and the rest of the group.

  Suddenly, a warm hand wrapped around mine and I was being pulled forward. Devon’s face finally appeared and I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

  “Stay close,” he said gently, his face just inches from mine.

  “Okay,” I said quietly. He let my hand go, of course. We couldn’t walk through Disney World holding hands, but it didn’t change the fact that as soon as my hand was free from his, it felt cold and empty. I wiped my palm on my thigh to try and erase the fact that he’d been there, but it didn’t work. I silently followed the group, more confused than ever.

  The lines were stupid long, as I’d expected, but it turned out that Devon, the kids, and Evie and Nate had a FASTPASS that got them to the front of the lines. Lots of other people had them as well, so we didn’t automatically get on, but the lines were drastically shorter. I didn’t have the pass, but that was all right with me, as I didn’t plan on riding anything.

  “You go ahead,” I said to Devon as they started toward the merry-go-round. “I’ll watch.”

  “You’re not going to ride it?”

  I shook my head. “I get motion sickness. I don’t like rides.”

  He blinked at me and a confused expression crossed his face. “You don’t like rides, but you came to Disney World? What for?”

  I shrugged. “I like Disney. There’s plenty to do aside from the rides.” That was true. I did want to go to Disney. Even if I spent the day watching Jax and Ruby have the time of their lives. But the other reason I came—the reason that scared me and wouldn’t hide under the proverbial rug I kept trying to sweep it under—was simply because he’d asked. Because it meant spending a day with him. Because I feared I’d never be able to tell him no.

  He looked back to where the others were moving forward in the line, then back to me.

  “Go,” I said with a laugh. “I don’t mind. Promise. I’ll watch. Take some photos even.” He stared at me for just one more moment, but then Ruby called out to him, and he turned back to his children and joined them in line. I sigh
ed and walked back to where I could watch the ride go round and round. A few minutes later the ride slowed and a new batch of riders loaded on. I smiled as Jax sped through the ride, weaving through the horses until he apparently found the perfect one. Ruby casually strolled behind him, picked a horse that seemed to do, and climbed aboard like she was doing it a favor by riding it. Devon chose the horse right beside Jax, which was a few behind Ruby. Nate and Evie picked a bench and cozily cuddled up to each other like no one else existed and the ride was built just for them. A smile pulled at my face, liking the way the two of them seemed to love each other so deeply.

  The ride started and Jax bounced up and down on his horse. His eyes looked out to the crowd. I assumed he was searching for me, so when his gaze roamed in my direction I waved. His eyes locked on mine and he gave me an enthusiastic wave. I pulled out my phone and took pictures as everyone sailed past me. After two rotations my decision not to ride was reinforced as I started to feel ill, so I turned away and watched the people walking past me.

  Chapter Six

  Devon

  Catching sight of Grace each time the ride went past her was like a shovel digging something up inside me. Why in the world would she come here just to stand by and watch us? I felt like shit for pressuring her to come now. Damn. I even made her buy her own ticket. I’d wanted her to say yes so badly, but I didn’t think she’d come if it seemed even close to a date, so refusing to buy her ticket was more of a ploy to get her to say yes. Now I just felt like an idiot.

  The ride slowed and I looked over at Jaxy again, who was all smiles. I loved seeing my kids smile. Ruby’s smile, when it came around, was sweet and sincere. Someday—in the very far away future—Ruby would smile at a boy and he’d move the world to see her smile again. Jaxy’s smile, however, was just pure joy and exuberance. He was all cheeks and teeth and happiness.

  We stepped out of the gate and walked around to find Grace leaning against the fence surrounding the ride. She was looking down at her phone and I used the moment to take her in. My eyes started at the bottom and worked their way up. Her shapely legs were toned and mostly visible, as she’d worn white shorts. They weren’t indecently short, but they definitely weren’t made to be modest. She wore a dark blue shirt made of some material I imagined was as soft as it was billowy. It was sheer and through it I could see a white tank top with tiny straps. Her dark, shoulder-length hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She had on sunglasses, but before she’d put them on I’d noticed she wasn’t wearing much makeup. Maybe just mascara. She looked fresh and clean.