The Space Between Us Read online

  “Did you know the family that lived here before me?” I asked him, trying to get my mind off the fact that he had a mother who made cookies and how unfair it suddenly seemed.

  “Yeah, my best friend Trace lived here. His Dad's job transferred him all the way to Minnesota so they moved. My mom said that maybe someday I could go and visit him over summer vacation.”

  “That sucks that he moved, but it's cool that your mom would let you go see him,” I offered.

  “Yeah,” he said but then paused. “Is your head ok? You know, from earlier?” My hand automatically moved to rub the small bump that had formed where the rock hit me.

  “Yeah, it's no big deal. Thanks again for stopping him.”

  “I saw you made friends with Reeve.” I shrugged.

  “She seems nice. She talks a lot.” He laughed at my comment.

  “That she does. But you get use to her, I guess.” He rocked back and forth on his heels a few times and I stood there, not really sure what else there was to say. “Well, I walk to school every morning so if you want, you can walk with me.”

  “Ok, maybe I'll see you in the morning.”

  “Ok, see ya later.” He turned and walked down the porch and I closed the door.

  The next morning I waited in the front family room, peeking out of the window, until I saw Asher pass my house. As he walked by, I saw him look over towards my door. I could tell he was contemplating waiting for me or just continuing on his way. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him continue walking. After the way he saved me yesterday, the cookies, and the way he seemed to be too nice, I just couldn't bring myself to walk to school with him. I didn't want him feeling like he was obligated to be nice to me. I didn't want anyone feeling like they were obligated to me in any way. At that moment, I mostly just wanted to blend into the background and forget everything that had happened to me.

  I kept my head down at school, sat with my drawing pad during lunch and recess, trying to let my pencil occupy my thoughts instead of the fact that even though I was lonely, I didn't want to befriend anyone. I walked across the field on my way home when Reeve came running up behind me.

  “Charlie!” I turned to see her and she had a big smile on her face. “Hey, do you want to go to The Range with me today?”

  “Uh,” I hesitated. “I didn't get a chance to ask my dad yesterday. He's expecting me home.” I said as I gestured towards the alley.

  “Ok, well, let's walk to your house and ask your dad then.” She started walking with a determined gait. We walked to my house together and there was not even one moment for me to get a word in. She talked the entire time, filling me in on all the kids in our class, what had happened on the latest episode of the television show she was watching, and how she had gotten a great deal on a new pair of jeans at a trendy store in the next town over. Her rate of speech was baffling and also comforting because I didn't have to say anything.

  We went into my house and I called my dad, who agreed I could go with Reeve as long as I was home for dinner. He sounded excited and relieved that I had made a friend, and he probably would have let me leave the country with her if he thought it would have made me happy. I put my book bag on the counter and we left, walking back the way we had came. Halfway across the field Reeve caught me off guard by asking me a question.

  “So, what does your dad do?” The silence that came when she paused for my answer was strange. I appreciated her incessant talking.

  “He works in construction.”

  “Like, building houses and stuff?”

  “Yeah, mostly. Offices. Anything really.”

  “That's cool. What does your mom do?”

  And there it was. The moment I dreaded with every person I encountered - having to talk about my mom.

  “Nothing. She died.” Reeve stopped walking and her mouth gaped open. I couldn't look her in the eye, so I stared at the ground, hoping she'd recover quickly and continue talking about unimportant, distracting things like she had the entire way up until now.

  “She died?” I nodded my head, not saying a word. “How?”

  “Cancer.”

  “I can't imagine not having a mom,” Reeve said quietly as she started walking slowly.

  “Me either.”

  The Range was actually a pretty cool place; there was nothing like it back home that I had ever seen. It was part coffee shop and cafe, part arcade, part pseudo-library where the no talking rules were lifted. There were board games, video games, books, a few computers to use the internet, couches, bean bag chairs, there was even a hammock in the corner of the reading area. There were mostly younger kids there, sixteen and under, it looked like. Obviously, once kids got their driver's license they found cooler places to hang out.

  Reeve led me to where the counter was and we both ordered a soda. Reeve then headed towards a table where a few girls sat. I hesitated, nervous about sitting with a bunch of girls I didn't know. I missed Lucy immediately. Reeve sat down and motioned to the chair next to her. I sat down and tried to smile without looking like I was in pain.

  “Guys, this is Charlie. She just moved here,” Reeve said excitedly. I gave a small wave to match my small smile.

  “Hey, Charlie. Where'd you move from?” A blonde girl across the table asked.

  “A town about five hours from here. Bridgeport.”

  “Never heard of it. I'm Celia, by the way,” the blonde girl responded.

  “It's a small town,” I said quietly. The girls continued to talk amongst themselves, and every once in a while Reeve would try to involve me in the conversation. I appreciated her attempt at making me feel comfortable, but I was still the new kid and it had always been hard for me to open up to new people. Especially now. The more I talked with these girls, the more they would want to know about me, and the more I would have to tell them. No thanks. I'd rather keep it all inside if I could.

  “How long have you been growing your hair out?” Celia asked at one point. I absentmindedly reached for my hair which, if left down, hung well past my hips. It was thick, long, black, and very straight.

  “Besides small trims, I've never cut it. My mom would never let me.” I felt my own heart speed up at the mention of my mom, hoping the girls wouldn't ask me anything else that would make me talk about her any more. Reeve caught my eye and must have noticed my unease.

  “Isn't it pretty? Rachel, weren't you going to ask your mom if you could dye yours blonde? Summer's coming and blonde would be a really good color on you. Is anyone doing anything fun for summer vacation?” And just like that, with words spilling out of her mouth, words meant to save me a little bit of discomfort, I thought maybe I had made a true friend. All the girls took turns talking about their plans for summer and I, for the first time in weeks, had a genuine smile on my face.

  After we were there for a little over an hour I noticed a few boys walk in, Asher being one of them. Reeve immediately looked over to the group of four boys and turned to whisper to the girls at the table.

  “Asher saved Charlie from Ryan yesterday at recess. He was bullying her and Asher made him stop.”

  “Shut. Up.” Celia looked at me with interest. I shrugged.

  “He didn't save me. It wasn't that big of a deal.”

  “She keeps saying that,” Reeve said with a confused look on her face. “Charlie, if Asher made Ryan leave you alone, it's a big deal. He's so cute.”

  I laughed - a true laugh.

  “And you keep saying that. What does that mean anyway? How is he cute?” I looked over at him and he looked like any other boy.

  “I don't know. It's his eyes I think. And those cute dark freckles he has. Who has freckles like that? No one.”

  I took a closer look at him. Ok, Reeve was right about the freckles. They were unique anyway. Not the usual light brown color of freckles, but a dark brown. And they looked bigger than normal freckles, too. Instead of a lot of small ones, he had fewer larger ones. It was distinctive.

  “Reeve, you're boy crazy,
” Celia said. Reeve just smiled. Asher walked past us and nodded at the girls at the table. Then his eyes turned to me.

  “Hey Charlie.”

  “Hey Asher,” I responded, desperately wanting him to walk away.

  “I didn't see you on the way to school today. Should I wait for you tomorrow?”

  “Yes!” Reeve practically shouted. Asher looked at her briefly, then back to me.

  “Should I wait?” My earlier appreciation for Reeve having saved me from talking about my mom quickly dissolved and was replaced with irritation for putting me in this, almost worse, situation. How could I say no now?

  “Uh, yeah, sorry about this morning. I was running late.” He smiled widely, a dimple appearing on his left cheek.

  “No problem. I'll see you in the morning.” He walked back to where his friends waited.

  “He wants to walk to school with you?” Reeve asked, eyes almost bugging out of her head.

  “I'm sure his mom is making him; she made him bring over cookies yesterday afternoon.”

  “Oh my gosh. He's so cute,” Reeve repeated. Luckily the conversation moved on to something else.

  The next morning, like I knew he would, Asher waited for me at the bottom of my driveway.

  “Hey Charlie,” he said with a smile as I approached.

  “Hey,” I said, looking at the ground for a moment to gain some courage. “Listen, you don't have to walk to school with me. I know your mom is probably making you walk with me. It's fine.” I paused, waiting for him to respond. The seconds it took for him to speak were very heavy and filled with my rapid heartbeat.

  “My mom isn't making me walk to school with you, Charlie. Can't I just want to walk to school with you?”

  I shrugged.

  “Hey,” he said as he crouched down to get me to look at him. “What does this mean?” He shrugged his shoulders at me in an exaggerated way. I exhaled loudly and turned to start walking towards the school.

  “I guess I just don't understand why you would want to walk with me.”

  “My best friend just moved away and I use to walk to school with him every day. I guess I just thought maybe you were looking for a new friend as much as I was. I'm sorry.”

  Regret and shame washed over me. It hadn't occurred to me that he might have needed someone to be there for him. I was too wrapped up in my own unhappiness to even consider that perhaps, the boy who lost his friend as well, might have needed me to be his friend.

  “No, I'm sorry, Asher. I'm not good at meeting new people and making friends. I've never had to. I lived in my old house since the day I was born. My friends back home have been my friends since I was born. I've never had to make new ones. I'd really like it if we could walk to school together.” I looked over at him, hoping the sad look was gone from his face. I was rewarded with a dimpled smile.

  “Great. I hate walking alone.”

  Asher and I walked to school nearly every day until, finally, we were old enough to drive.

  Chapter Two

  It was the Saturday before the first day of high school, and even though I had spent a wonderful summer with Reeve, I was anxious for the summer to end because that meant that Asher was coming home. A month before school let out, we walked to school and he dropped the biggest bomb my 13-year-old self had ever experienced – well, besides my mom's cancer.

  “So,” Asher said as we slowly made our way towards the middle school. “I have something to tell you.”

  “Ok,” I said, drawing the word out to emphasize my apprehension. “You're being very cryptic right now.”

  “My grandfather called my parents last night and told them that he needed help on his farm back in Oklahoma. He asked my parents if I could come and help him for the summer.”

  I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him.

  “You're going to Oklahoma?” He winced a little and nodded his head. “For the whole summer?” He nodded again. “You're kidding. Asher, this isn't funny at all.”

  “I'm serious. I guess one of his farmhands quit and my parents think it will build character or something if I go and do farm stuff all summer.”

  “But we had plans this summer! You were supposed to teach me how to skateboard! We were going to ambush Reeve with water balloons every day! We were going to fish in the creek under the bridge in the park. Asher, this ruins everything.”

  “I'm sorry, Charlie. There isn't anything I can do about it. My parents bought a plane ticket last night. I leave the Monday after school gets out.”

  “We've got to cram a whole summer's worth of plans into one weekend?”

  He laughed. “I suppose.”

  “So not funny, Asher. I love Reeve, but I can't imagine spending all summer with her. Her idea of summer vacation is laying on her front lawn in a bathing suit and flirting with boys,” I said as I kicked a rock that was in my way. The rock skittered across the pavement farther than I planned and I winced as it came dangerously close to a parked car.

  “You're not going to do that, are you?”

  “What?”

  “Lay in her front yard in a bathing suit.”

  “Oh, um, I don't know. Probably not.” Then, suddenly, it was tense. This had only happened a few times before with us. We would be talking or hanging out, and suddenly out of nowhere one of us would say something or do something that was new to our usual friendship dynamic. A few weeks ago we were sitting in his garage and we decided to walk to the store to get smoothies. He reached both of his hands out to me and helped me up. He pulled a little too hard and I rocketed into his chest. Not only was I closer to him than usual, but he didn't let my hands go for a few moments. We stood there, chest to chest, holding hands, and it felt – different. My heart sped up and my lungs hurt because I was breathing so fast. I didn't understand it, but I didn't hate it either. After a few moments he dropped my hands and stepped away.

  “We should get going,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant, but I knew he had felt the weirdness too.

  “Yeah, the smoothies might run out if we don't hurry.” I tried to be cool and calm as I briskly walked out of his garage towards the street. It was awkward for a few blocks but then something made us laugh, I can't remember what, but then everything was back to normal.

  Asher asking about me in a bathing suit was weird. But weird in a good way almost. I couldn't explain why I liked it, but I did.

  The weekend before he left was epic. I didn't master the skateboard, even though I tried, but we drenched Reeve every day until the morning he left for the airport. She was so mad at us, but we didn't care. Her recovery time was minimal and it was worth it to watch her scream as water was splashing all around her. We laughed until our bellies hurt every time. We spent one whole day under the bridge at the park trying to catch the tiny little fish that swam through the creek there. We caught tadpoles too, but we never kept any of them, always throwing them back just happy to have actually caught them at all.

  Today was the day Asher was coming back and excitement raced through me. I missed him over the summer. We only spoke on the phone a few times while he was away. My heartbeat did its explosive beating thing again when Asher remembered to call me on my birthday. I wasn't expecting him to call at all, it never occurred to me that he would.

  “Happy birthday, Charlie,” he said, and I couldn't help the giant smile that broke out over my face.

  “Thank you, Asher. That is really sweet of you to remember my birthday.”

  “Of course I remembered your birthday; you're my best friend, Charlie.” I couldn't explain why my stomach dropped when he said the word friend, but it did. I was so confused by my body's reaction to all of this. I was excited when he called, but sad when he referred to me as a friend. I was his friend and he was mine. There was no need for any of this silliness, so I shook it off.

  “Are you doing really cool farm things over there in Oklahoma?”

  “Uh, I guess. It's just really hot and I am outside most of the day. Lots of lifting heavy thing
s and wrangling animals. But, I'm not bored, so there's that.”

  “Sounds fun,” I said sarcastically.

  “What have you been doing?” He asked.

  “Not a lot,” I sighed into the phone. “Reeve is dragging me to the mall a lot. We sit in the food court while she checks out guys. We sit on her lawn in the front of her house listening to her stereo. Honestly, we don't do much. She listens to the radio and reads, and I draw. We talk. That about sums up my summer. Oh, and sometimes we go to The Range.”

  “Are you in your bathing suit?” He asked quietly.

  “Right now?” I asked, confused by the question.

  “No. When you're sitting on her lawn.”

  “Uh, not usually. She is most of the time. I don't know.” I didn't know how to answer his question. I didn't want to lie to him, but I felt like if I told him that I had been in my swim suit on her lawn it would make him angry for some reason. I didn't want to make him angry, especially not when he's so far away. I just wanted him to smile. “This summer would be much better if you were here,” I said quietly. There was a long and silent pause. I'm not sure why I said what I did, or why it felt like it was really important but it was. And for another reason unknown to me, whatever he said in response was really important too.

  “I miss you too, Charlie,” was his answer and a smile immediately spread across my face. “I'll be back in just a few weeks. We'll start high school and I will save you from Reeve.”

  “Meh, she's not that bad. She's just not you.” Another sentence that seemed to come from nowhere. “Anyway, thanks again for calling for my birthday. Have a good rest of your summer over there in Oklahoma.”

  He didn't call me for the rest of the summer, and even though I would always want to talk to him, I was ok with it. Our last conversation was confusing enough, I didn't want to feel weird talking to him. I knew when he came back home and everything went back to normal, all the weirdness would melt away.

  I sat by the phone, trying not to look like I was waiting for him to call. My dad walked by every once in a while and gave me a small smile.