Coming Up Roses: #MeetCute Books (With A Kiss Book 4) Read online

“So, you weren’t attracted to him?” Hadley asked, but her tone implied she already knew the answer to her own question.

  My mind flashed back to the way his arms held me in those brief moments we were wrapped around each other. I remembered how he looked unkempt, but in a seriously manly way. Not because he didn’t care about his appearance, but because he was too busy to care about how long his hair had gotten or how badly his beard needed a trim. I also knew that unkempt Aiden was irresistibly sexy, so kept Aiden would be devastating. My heart jumped all around my chest at the thought.

  “I didn’t really get a chance to think about it. What with the bears and everything.”

  “Didn’t he drive you back to the office? He said you tried to take an Uber back.” Hadley definitely knew the answers to the questions she was asking.

  “I would have been fine had there been service out there.”

  “Well, just so you know, there will hardly ever be service at any of his properties. Unless you’re at his office in town. I think he likes being off the grid.”

  “Ugh,” I groaned before I could stop myself. “That sounds like torture.”

  “It’s not so bad. You get used to it.” Hadley shrugged.

  “Would you consider going out with him? If he asked?” Riley looked as though she was supremely uncomfortable asking me the question.

  “I don’t really date,” I answered honestly.

  “What do you mean?” Hadley looked confused by my answer.

  “I mean, I don’t go on dates. Like, ever. I don’t think I’ve been out with a man for two or three years.”

  “You’re into women?” Even more confusion came over Hadley’s expression.

  “No,” I replied slowly, trying to figure out how best to explain my situation. It wasn’t every day I had in-depth conversations with anyone about my personal life. In fact, I worked very hard to stay as impersonal as possible in all facets of my life.

  “I didn’t really have a normal childhood and therefore didn’t get the typical young adult experience. I never had a boyfriend, never went to prom, missed all the usual romantically-involved milestones, and never really caught up. So, I stopped trying. I don’t date.”

  “What do you mean? You’ve never been kissed?” Riley looked just as confused as Hadley now.

  “No, I’ve been kissed,” I scoffed, waving a hand through the air as though her question was ridiculous.

  “Then what exactly are we talking about?” Hadley asked, leaning in closer, her eyebrows almost reaching her hairline.

  Our waitress returned with our drinks, placing them down in front of each of us as we waited in awkward conversation purgatory.

  “Can I get you anything else right now?” she asked.

  “I think we’re good,” Riley answered, giving her a polite smile.

  As she left I picked up my wine and took a large drink, clearly and purposefully ignoring wine etiquette.

  “Rose,” Hadley said, her voice low. “You’ve been with a man, right?”

  I looked down into my glass, watching the pale liquid swish around. Finally, after a few long, quiet moments, I lifted my head and looked her straight in the eye, chin high and shoulders back.

  “I have not, technically, had sex with a man, no. But I’ve done enough to know I’m not interested.”

  My eyes were on Hadley, who looked a combination of horrified and sad, but I knew Riley was also looking at me with pity, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet her gaze.

  I wasn’t ashamed of my decision to abstain from sex, but without going into all the details I knew how I was perceived. Frigid. Cold. Unfeeling. Unapproachable. And a whole other list of negative adjectives. It was cute to be a virgin graduating from high school. It was admirable and almost unbelievable to be a virgin graduating from college. But it was most definitely sad to be a virgin in your late-twenties. At least, that’s what other people thought.

  I was happy with my virginity, even if I hated that word.

  A virgin was pure and innocent. Ignorant, even.

  I was none of those things.

  I was simply uninterested in sex anymore. For a variety of reasons.

  “How is that possible?” Hadley added.

  I shrugged. “It’s not hard. No pun intended. It’s just a choice.”

  “I just can’t imagine choosing to not have sex,” Hadley continued, completely perplexed by me.

  I hadn’t confided in many people about my sex life, but I knew this would be the reaction. Complete and utter confusion. I didn’t expect other people to understand—just as I couldn’t understand why people chose to have sex, they couldn’t understand why I would abstain. And even though I would go as far as telling them about my sexual status, I’d never revealed the whole reason why. Not to anyone. And I wasn’t about to start with one of my employees and her best friend, no matter how much I wanted to be more like friends with them than co-workers or acquaintances.

  “It’s a choice. And I’m happy in my choice. I live a full life.”

  “No one’s judging you, Rose,” Riley said softly, placing her hand over one of mine and giving me a sweet smile.

  I appreciated it more than she would ever know.

  “You are, and that’s okay. Judgement is a part of life. No one can avoid it all the time.”

  “It’s just a little surprising,” Hadley added quietly. “In a million years I never would have thought you were a virgin.”

  I picked up my wine glass and held it up toward them. “I could say the same thing about you, ladies.” It was my attempt at levity. Luckily, they both laughed lightly and picked up their beer bottles and the three of us clinked them all together then took dainty sips.

  “Look,” I started, then took another sip of my wine, needing the liquid courage. “I don’t tell a lot of people that tidbit of information, so I’d appreciate it if you kept it to yourselves. The last thing I want, or need, is the office talking about my lack of sexual experience.”

  “Rose, I’d never tell anyone. I swear. You have my complete confidence.”

  “Yeah, me too, Rose. I may be shocked, but I’m not a bitch. Well, not to people who don’t deserve it.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that. It’s personal, but you can see why it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to date anyone.”

  “Clearly, we have differing opinions about what you need, Rose. Because dating is exactly what I think you should be doing. And not even dating. Fucking. I just can’t even imagine—”

  “Hadley,” Riley scolded, giving her a narrow gaze. “Stop it.”

  “Come on, I’m not trying to be rude, but even you can admit she doesn’t know what she’s missing.” Hadley’s gaze came back to me. “Have you ever done ANYTHING with a man? Aside from kissing?”

  This was exactly what I didn’t want to talk about. The details surrounding my sex life, or lack thereof, were almost more mortifying than the lack of experience.

  “Without going into too much detail, rest assured I have had sexual experiences. And I never found those encounters to be anything worth trying again.”

  “Honey, you weren’t trying them with the right men, then. Trust me.”

  “Regardless, you can understand how eventually, this speed bump becomes somewhat of a mountain. It’s a giant distraction when dating, and I’d just rather not deal with it at all.”

  “So, it’s not that you aren’t attracted to men. You’re not asexual. You’re just behind the curve and feel like you’re too far behind to catch up.” You could almost see the proverbial lightbulb turn on above Hadley’s head as she spoke.

  “Had, she’s not behind in biology and trying to cram for a midterm. This is serious stuff.”

  “It’s only as serious as you make it,” Hadley replied just before taking another long pull from her beer. “You could look at it like a huge problem, or like a Band-Aid you just need to rip off really fast.”

  “Having sex for the first time isn’t like ripping off a Band-Aid,” Riley said to
me reassuringly.

  “It can be, though. That’s all I’m trying to say. You could sit here and worry about it, let the fear take over, or you could just do it and get it over with.”

  “You’re not telling me anything I haven’t thought of before,” I said, not unkindly. I really did appreciate their concern. I understood my situation was peculiar, that they’d probably never encountered a woman my age who’d never been in a sexual relationship, but I’d been that way my whole adult life. This was a choice and I was not a victim of my own circumstance. “I’m not wholly opposed to the idea of having sex—not at all actually. I’m a woman. I have needs. I am biologically built to have the same cravings and feelings as you ladies do, I’m sure. The difference is, I choose not to involve anyone else in my life sexually. And that inhibits me from involving anyone else in my life romantically.”

  There were so many more details I wouldn’t tell them, so many more nuances that didn’t need to be said in the dark, dank bar in the middle of Portland. But I knew the reasons, and that was good enough for me. “So, while I appreciate you concern, I’m afraid there’s nothing to be fixed because there’s nothing wrong with me.”

  “Of course not, Rose. We didn’t mean to imply there was.”

  Hadley bit her tongue and I could tell she was holding back words. It made me laugh.

  “Besides,” I continued, trying to avoid the whole conversation we were about to have. “I spent the trip from Washington to our office in a truck with Aiden, and it didn’t seem like we had much in common. So, regardless of what he was asking about me, I don’t think we’re compatible. On many levels.”

  “If he asks again, I’ll tell him you’re unavailable,” Riley promised.

  “Thank you.” I took another sip of my wine and then took a breath, steeling myself to take the conversation and redirect it. “So, you both have one-year wedding anniversaries coming up.”

  That was all it took to get the two of them talking about themselves and their lives. We spent the next hour chatting about their married lives and the small day-to-day perks of marriage, how happy they both were with their fairly new husbands, and other trivial topics of life.

  Once we weren’t talking about me any longer I really enjoyed myself. I wanted to know more about Hadley, found her to be interesting in a way I’d never been interested in anyone. She was brave and loud, seemed to know herself better than she knew anyone else. And Riley obviously loved her in a way that went deeper than friendship. They seemed to be more like close sisters than just women who were forced to be roommates their freshman year of college.

  Fate had brought them together, seen how they needed each other and would balance out one another.

  As we said goodbye, the two of them hopping into a small, black, fancy car I think Riley referred to as the Batmobile, and me walking to the closest MAX station, I couldn’t help but be jealous that fate had been kind enough to bring Riley and Hadley together, but never found anyone suitable for me. What I wouldn’t have given to have a friend like those two had in each other.

  I spent the trip home mentally creating a checklist for work the next day. When I came home to my empty and dark condo, I told myself I enjoyed the silence. And when I lay in bed that night, trying desperately to fall asleep to quiet the thoughts in my head, I tried to convince my brain that relationships would mean taking down the barriers I’d put up for a reason, and that letting people in, would only mean I’d have to build them higher when they inevitably hurt me. And it was so much harder to build the walls than tear them down.

  Chapter Six

  Aiden

  I

  t was funny how quickly life moved past you when you were focusing on one thing and one thing only.

  Work had been eclipsing my life for the last two weeks and I was only able to come up for air to sleep and eat. Everything else had been put on hold to deal with the shit storm that had become the projects I’d been running.

  We hit a snag on one of the projects in the early stages of construction and that had caused an asinine ripple effect, and everything snowballed from there. I had needed to be in four places at once, trying to manage three different crews, all while trying very hard not to think about Rose.

  Even though the days were crazy, whenever I found a quiet moment, my mind wandered to her. I wondered constantly what she was doing, where she was, who she was with. I’d get irrationally angry if I thought even for a moment that she might have been on a date. Or worse, in bed with someone. I wondered what she looked like when she was at home; whether her prim and proper façade extended to all aspects of her life, or if she let her hair down when she came home from work, literally and figuratively.

  The idea that ten days had passed and I still hadn’t stopped thinking about her told me something. It told me I wanted to see her again.

  Even so, I made the excuse to see Riley, telling myself we needed to talk about the fundraiser and that was why I was stopping by her work unannounced. It had nothing to do with the fact that I thought Rose may be there.

  Nope.

  Not at all.

  I found a parking spot that fit my giant truck a few blocks from her office building and even I could admit it looked out of place on the busy city street. My truck was meant to be surrounded by trees, dirt, and fresh air. Not pavement and traffic noise.

  I also looked completely out of place myself, walking through the foyer of the office building. My work boots clunked against the marble floor and I didn’t have a phone or tablet in my hand. My Carhartts definitely didn’t match their fancy tailored suits.

  Nevertheless, it wasn’t going to stop me from doing my damnedest to see Rose, even if it was under the guise of seeing Riley.

  I wasn’t too proud to show up unannounced.

  I found Rose City Events on the directory and then took the elevator up, sharing the space with a bunch of business professionals. It was a mixture of men and women, but none of the women looked half as good in their business attire as Rose had.

  Fuck.

  I was afraid no one would ever look as good to me again as Rose had. I’d never given a lot of thought about what type of woman I’d end up with. I just had faith in the fact that the one was out there somewhere, and I’d find her when the universe was good and ready. But not in a million years would I have ever imagined someone like Rose to be my match. I wouldn’t even consider myself a romantic, but the idea of her sharp edges and crisps lines being so damn alluring gave new meaning to the old adage of Opposites Attract.

  Opposites indeed.

  When the elevator stopped on the floor I’d chosen and the doors opened, my eyes immediately began to scan the area.

  It wasn’t at all what I’d expected, but I wasn’t really sure what I was looking for either.

  The first person I saw I happened to recognize, but I couldn’t quite recall her name. Luckily, she seemed to recognize me as well and walked over to me with a smile.

  “Mr. Daniels? Do you have a meeting with Riley?”

  “Hi, no. Uh...” My mind was blanking on her name, but she kindly provided it.

  “Rachel.”

  “Right. Rachel. We met at that dinner party at Riley and Camden’s house a few months ago, right?”

  “Right,” she replied with a smile.

  “Good to see you. I’m afraid I’m sort of here unannounced. Is Riley even here? I didn’t call to check first. I was just in the neighborhood.”

  Surely, she wouldn’t buy my bullshit excuse, but she didn’t seem to question it. And if she did, she was sweet enough to play along.

  “Riley is in her office. I can take you there.”

  “Thanks.”

  Rachel spun around and walked through the office that was missing any kind of cubicles. The giant room was filled mostly with just long rows of tables with work stations set up all along them, making the room one big communal office. I’d never really seen anything like it.

  There were offices around the edge of two walls, a
nd one of them looked to be where we were headed.

  Rachel knocked lightly on a door and then pushed it open just far enough for her head to peak in and as she did my gaze scanned the room again.

  When Rose entered, my entire body knew it. I could feel her energy all the way across the room.

  I turned and watched her make her way to what I assumed was her office. She looked just as gorgeous as I remembered.

  But this time her hair was down.

  Long brown hair with a little wave to it cascaded all the way down her back.

  I wanted to wrap my hand around it, tug it tightly, and pull her back against me. There were so many things I could think of that I wanted to do to her, and none of them were appropriate in that moment.

  “Riley said you could go in,” Rachel said, perhaps not for the first time.

  “Oh, thanks,” I replied, trying to sound as though I had my shit together when I definitely didn’t.

  “Aiden, hi. What a nice surprise. I wasn’t expecting you,” Riley said as she rounded her desk and came to meet me, greeting me with a friendly hug. I’d learned these past few months hanging out with her, Hadley, and their husbands Camden and Justin, that Riley was a hugger. It didn’t really matter who you were, or how long it had been since she’d seen you last, she liked to hug.

  “Yeah, sorry for just barging in. I was driving through town and thought I’d stop by since I had to cancel our appointment last week.”

  “Yeah, it’s been crazy around here too. And I’m sorry again for missing our first meeting. I felt really bad about that.”

  The meeting she’d missed was the reason I’d met Rose to begin with.

  “Don’t worry about it. Everything worked out. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

  “Me, too. I thought the plague was eradicated back in the fourteenth century.” She laughed. “So, what can I help you with today?”

  Before I could even put two thoughts together, words were falling from my mouth.

  “I want Rose to plan my event.”

  “You what?”

  Clearly, I’d surprised her with my guerilla maneuver.