Never Close Enough Read online

  “Let me get this straight,” Porter said, irritated. “You are traveling alone, without jumper cables, taking rides from strangers, unaware of the address of your rental, and without any keys to get it? Are you out of your mind?!”

  “Excuse me?” she gaped at him, pissed off that he would talk to her that way. “I have keys, they are just hidden out there somewhere,” she gestured out the windshield of his truck. “According to this email,” she said, pointing at her phone, “they are under the potted flowers on the back porch.”

  Porter said nothing, but opened his door and jumped down from his truck. He stomped through the rain, up the steps of the front porch, and around to the back. A few seconds later he returned and headed towards the front door. He then saw her grab her bags and she met him at the front steps. He opened the door, fumbled around for a light switch, found it and turned it on, but nothing happened. He flipped it up and down a few more times, somehow hoping that it would start working after a few tries.

  Porter let out a frustrated growl, “I don't suppose you know how to turn on the electricity, do you?”

  “Not exactly,” Ella said hesitantly.

  "How can you be so irresponsible to get yourself into this situation to begin with?" Porter nearly shouted.

  "Listen," Ella said, turning towards Porter matching his annoyance in her tone, "I didn't plan any of this! Today is my birthday. This was supposed to be my getaway. My boyfriend was supposed to be with me, handling all of these details. It's not my fault that I found him having sex with someone else not four hours ago. He decided to abandon our relationship to have crazy-bendy sex with that slut, and it looked like better sex than we'd ever had together. So tell me how fair that is?” Ella took a deep breath in, seeming to for her next verbal assault. “I am sorry if helping me has been an inconvenience for you or I haven't lived up to some standard of responsible behavior. I was just trying to get away from what seemed to be my life falling apart!" She was breathing heavily, and he could tell she was trying to hold tears back. Seeing her that way shifted something inside of him.

  Porter didn't know what to say. She was obviously upset, and he wasn't sure how much of that anger he was responsible for, but he wanted to make it right. He might not be the world's friendliest person, but he wasn't an ass.

  "Look, Ella, I am sorry,” he said, running his hand through his damp hair. “I had no idea any of that was going on. I don't know what's wrong with your boyfriend, but he sounds like an idiot if he'd do anything to mess things up with you. And I'm sorry for yelling about the cables and keys. I guess it just bothers me thinking about what could have happened if I hadn't been around."

  But that was the strange thing. It did bother him, more than he was comfortable with. He wasn't used to worrying about anyone and he didn't usually go out of his way to help anyone besides his mother. But the idea of some schmoe off the street driving Ella home and helping her into her house made his blood run fast through his veins. For now, he was just glad he had been around when she needed him. “Let’s go inside. You can sit down and I will get the power on for you.”

  Chapter Two

  Ella

  Ella was ready for this day to be over. She sat quietly on the couch in the living room, alone in the dark, trying really hard not to crumble into tiny shards of blubbering female. She would have plenty of time for a formal breakdown; she just needed to hold on to her sanity for a few more minutes. The lights came on suddenly and she heard Porter's footsteps coming up the stairs.

  “I found the fuse box and got everything turned on. You should be good to go here,” he said as he stood at the threshold from the basement to the kitchen.

  “Thanks again, for everything. I am sorry I got a little crazy out there earlier. It's been a rough day,” Ella said, trying to hold back tears threatening to break free.

  “Forget about it. Sorry you're having an awful birthday. Listen,” he started slowly walking into the kitchen, heading in her direction. “Tomorrow, if you'd like, I could get my cables back from Bob. I’ll take you back to your car and give it a jump.”

  “No, Porter, really. You've done enough. I appreciate it but I can figure it out.”

  “The way I see it, I sort of owe you for snapping at you outside. I shouldn't have done that and I apologize.”

  Ella didn't really want to take him up on his offer. After everything that had happened she was a little embarrassed that she had thrown a grown-woman tantrum and wanted this whole experience to be behind her. She gave him a weak smile and said, “Thanks for that Porter, apology not necessary, but I accept. I will figure everything out tomorrow. I have bothered you enough.”

  Porter looked her directly in the eyes for a short moment, looked out the window towards the ocean, and then headed toward the door. “If you change your mind you can always call my mom at the bar. She will get me a message. Her number is listed, so you should be able to find it if you need it,” he said as he came to the door. He reached for the doorknob, opened the door, and then turned back to her. “I hope you enjoy your stay here, Ella. And I hope you realize while you're here that any man who cheats isn't worth the tears you will likely shed over him. You're a beautiful woman and it's obvious that he's made the mistake by taking you for granted. So try not to spend too much time being heart broken.” He pulled the door all the way open and walked out into the rain. Ella walked him out of the house and down the porch steps, manners always winning out. She watched him back his truck up and then pull it out onto the long driveway. Once his truck was out of sight, she turned to go back into the house.

  Ella looked at the beautiful house and felt a wave of sadness. This was supposed to be the romantic house where she and Kyle found each other again. She had specifically chosen this house because it had a gorgeous wrap-around porch with a swing that faced the ocean. When she had found the house online she had imagined spending nights on that swing with Kyle, drinking wine, holding hands, watching the sunset. Now she was pretty convinced she would be swinging alone, but still drinking the wine.

  Ella closed the door and felt a little confused about the one-eighty Porter had done. On the drive over he had seemed like she had been a huge annoyance to him, and now he was giving her relationship advice and compliments? Weird. It was sweet of him, but it caught her off-guard. She locked the door and headed back into the living room where she had left her bags. She looked at the clock over the mantel, nine o'clock. It was late enough that she didn't feel like a total loser for going to bed and she really couldn't find a good reason to be awake any longer. She took her bags up the stairs and walked all the way down to hallway to the master bedroom at the end.

  She walked in and all her sadness came rushing back. The four poster bed with white chiffon curtains cascading all the way to the floor was exactly as she had seen in the pictures. It was such a romantic bed and it had been her every intention to spend many hours in it with Kyle. She had daydreams since booking this house about the two of them loving each other there, talking about their future, remembering why they were with each other. She sat on the bed and gave in to the quiet sobs that she'd been holding in for the last hour.

  She leaned all the way back on the bed, covering her face with both hands. She rolled on her side and pulled her knees to her chest, as violent cries racked her body. She cried at first because she was confused. What had she done wrong? Why did he need to sleep with someone else? As she cried, she remembered walking in on them and her confusion turned into anger. Why hadn't he tried to talk with her before he cheated? How long had he been sleeping with her? Was she the only one? Ella immediately felt ill. She hadn't even considered the possibility that he'd been with more women than just the Flexi-Whore.

  She thought very seriously about calling him and having this conversation with him. But knew she would just be a crying mess and she didn't want him to know how upset she was. She wanted to be calm and collected when they spoke, and not give him any indication of how truly wrecked she was. Besides, what could
he really say to her at this point? All she wanted was answers, because the resolution was clear: they were over. She loved Kyle but she would never stay with a man who cheated on her. She had enough self-respect to know that he had given her up when he'd decided to be with someone else, but that realization hurt as well. He'd chosen someone else over her, consciously or not.

  She cried for the loss of the relationship. She cried for the betrayal. She cried for the hopelessness she felt that anything would work out the way she'd planned. She got up from the bed, opened her suitcase, and pulled out a nightgown. She went into the master bathroom and as her sobs started to subside and she readied herself for bed.

  As she came out of the bathroom, she went out onto the attached balcony. She noticed that the rain had let up, and although she couldn't see any stars, she could hear the ocean. She closed her eyes and listened hard for the rhythm of the waves coming onto the shore of the beach. She knew from the web page that the house was very close to the water and she was grateful that at this very moment. The steadiness of the surge of the ocean was calming her nerves. It gave her a little satisfaction to know that there were things in the world she could always rely on, like the ocean. The constant give and take of the tide, and although the waves move away from you, they always come back. She felt she could be steady like the sea; even though there were storms and swells, she could find her rhythm again.

  Porter

  Porter had no idea why he'd said those things to Ella. He'd meant them; he just wasn't use to words popping out of his mouth that he wasn't prepared to say. She probably thought he was some weird, manic man who swung like a pendulum from totally irritable to charming and sweet. He hadn't meant to come across that way. He could feel that she was on the verge of a major breakdown and he wanted to try to ease some of her pain. Hell, he'd wanted to stay and hold her through her sobs. But he knew that was an irrational compulsion and that she would think it more than a little weird for some stranger to want to hold her while she cried over her boyfriend. But he's be damned if he didn't feel a pull towards her.

  The way she had looked when he had come up the stairs from the basement, vacant and still, but so beautiful, had almost caused him to stumble over his words. He knew it was time for him to go, but wanted to find any excuse to see her again. That alone made him wary of his judgment. She was beautiful, but his need be near her, to see her again, was not a feeling he was familiar with. So he threw out the lame offer to help her get her car running again and she'd declined, like any sane woman should. He was having a hard time getting past the idea of not seeing her again. She might not be looking for someone to help her, but he was going to see her again, if only to be close to her.

  Chapter Three

  Ella

  Ella woke the next morning and looked through the chiffon fabric out the glass French doors to the balcony. The fabric made the world outside her bed look foggy and muted, which mirrored how she was feeling. She debated staying within the sheltered walls of the four poster bed all day, but the thought of walking the beach this early in the morning was too enticing.

  She dug some black yoga pants out of her suitcase, put on her University of Oregon sweatshirt, and threw her hair up into a messy bun. Then she grabbed her running shoes and walked down the stairs. The sliding glass door in the living room opened up onto the back of the house that lead directly to the beach. She sat on the porch steps and put her shoes on.

  There was nothing Ella loved more than the Oregon coast. People who lived in Oregon didn't come to the coast to swim and they didn't come to the coast to tan. They came for the view. It was magnificent. Straight ahead she could see the beautiful ocean, with blue-gray waves rolling up onto the shore. Looking to the North there was a tall wall of earth and rock, and Ella knew at the top of that wall there was a peaceful spot of grass and flowers called High Meadow. She had only been to the top once, but it was the closest to Heaven anyone could get on Earth as far as she was concerned. Looking to the East and South, she was totally surrounded by the trees that made Oregon famous. Everywhere you looked, it was green. It was trees. It was moss. It was ferns.

  Right now everything was veiled in gray, waiting for the sun to decide if it was going to appear. As an Oregonian, Ella considered herself lucky if the sun came to the beach with her, but she wasn't going to count on it. There was quite a bit of debris on the sand, from last night’s storm, she figured. It would make some lucky person's day to find a bounty of kindling and firewood for the bonfires that were traditional on the beaches in Oregon, because it was the only way anyone could stay warm.

  Ella walked towards the water, listening to the waves and the calls of the seagulls. She stopped before she hit the really wet sand and just gazed out over the sea. The view was humbling and inspiring. She had never felt so small and insignificant, or so important at the same time. She needed this message, this reminder, that everything is constantly moving and changing and evolving. She could see the fluidity of the water, the perpetual motion. She could also feel the sturdiness of the sand, which was deceiving since it was hardly solid. Tiny particles bound together to forge one seemingly strong surface. That's how she felt at this moment, like many particles that had been held together for so long, but now threatening to separate. She could feel herself start to fall apart. It was a breakdown she wasn't willing to have again, not after the crying she had done last night. She'd had enough. She took in deep breaths of salty ocean air and let the sound of the waves wash over her and calm her nerves.

  She walked along the water, stopping every now and then to admire the view or pick up an interesting shell. As early as it was, there were few other people on the beach, and the ones that were out were jogging or walking their dogs. After she had walked quite a ways, she decided to turn back. She had been out for at least an hour, and had done some good thinking and sorting of her feelings. Self-respect was important to Ella, and she knew there was no way to go back to that relationship and maintain a shred of dignity. She knew she would have to call Kyle and deal with him. And the sooner the better, she decided.

  As she came back up to the house, she was halted by the sight of a man on her porch. She knew immediately it was Porter, even though he had his back to her. She stood in place for a few seconds taking the opportunity to admire him from a distance. She had seen plenty of him the night before but now she wanted to really look at him. The first thing that stood out to her was his wide shoulders and strong back. He was a man with a tall frame, and his shoulders were wide, broad and imposing in a terribly sexy way. The strength that was concentrated in this one area was impressive, and the muscles continued down his arms making them a very fine feature she couldn’t help but admire. He was leaning back against the porch railing, wearing jeans with a black, short-sleeved shirt. His legs were crossed at the ankle and he was talking to someone on the phone.

  Ella decided to stop staring at him and see what it was he wanted. She continued up the path to the porch, and when Porter finally spotted her he held up one finger in the air to indicate 'just a minute'.

  “Yeah, listen, Mitch. I patched the line last night, but it needs someone who knows what they're doing to fix it,” he said to whomever he was talking to. “That would be great. I will let her to know expect you later on today. Okay. Thanks, man.” Porter hung up the phone and turned towards Ella, his face transforming into a friendly smile. “Hey, you're up early.”

  “Good thing, too, cause here you are. What are you doing here, Porter?”

  “I know you said last night that you would figure everything out, but I really just couldn't leave you stranded without any help to get back to your car. Please just let me help you. I know you don't need the help. You'd be doing me a favor, because if my mom finds out I just abandoned you, she'd kill me.”

  Ella smiled up at him and said, “She would, wouldn't she?”

  Porter laughed, “Yes, so please let me drive you back to the bar.”

  Ella turned toward the house and said as she wa
lked away “Fine, but I have to take a quick shower first. Make yourself at home.” Ella had no way of knowing but she was pretty sure he was watching her walk away, so she made sure she gave a little extra sway in her hips. As she climbed the stairs, she heard him moving around the living room.

  A few minutes later Ella came down the stairs, grabbed her purse off of the counter and said, “Ready?”

  “Yeah, let's go.” Porter headed toward his truck and Ella followed after locking the door. He went to the passenger side and opened the door for her.

  “Such a gentleman today, Porter. Or are you Porter's much nicer and chivalrous twin brother?”

  Porter laughed, shut her door, and got in on his side. “I know I was a little harsh last night. I didn't mean to be. I apologize, again. My mom has a habit of making me, how shall I say, overly available to any woman who is single, attractive, and seems nice. She's an eternal optimist and thinks one day I will settle down with someone and have a family.”

  “So,” Ella looked at him from her side of the truck, “you think I'm attractive and nice?” She asked just to watch him squirm.

  Porter fumbled a little, ran his hand through his hair and said “Well, I mean, I'm not blind and anyone who can see you would agree that you are gorgeous.” He held her eyes for a moment more, but then turned back to start the truck.

  Ella watched Porter maneuver out of the driveway and felt like she couldn’t hide her surprise at his words. She wanted to make him smile and laugh, but wasn't expecting him to respond so sincerely. She had really only had one serious relationship with Kyle and a few short-term boyfriends in college. None of them had given her a compliment that had made her breathing falter and heart race. She tried to maintain her cool composure, but was sure he could hear her finally let out the breath she was holding. “Well, I guess we'll both have to deal with each other's good looks then,” she said giving him a shy smile. “So, where is this Bob and will he give you your cables back?”